Weighty Issues

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain

Went to One Utama with my parents during the weekend. It has become a weekly thing for us. We had lunch, went to Lecka Lecka or Baskin Robbins for low-fat desserts and sometimes, bought home some melt-in-your-mouth-with-calories-so-high-you'll-get-a-heart-attack cake slices from Secret Recipe. After that, a leisurely walk around the mall is warranted to burn off those damn calories.

To my suprise, there's a sale happening at Jaya Jusco. As far as I know, there isn't any cause for a sale at this point in time. Chinese New Year had just passed. *slaps forehead* What am I saying here ?? There is no need for a cause or a reason to have a sale, right ?! Although, in conjunction with major festivals in Malaysia like Hari Raya, Chinese New Year and Christmas, a sale is definitely called for. Otherwise, we would have to wait for the Malaysia Mega Sale Carnival to shop till we drop.

Seeing all the clothes on display especially the branded ones made me think back to the time when I was overweight. I was at my biggest when I weighed nearly 90kg with a waist measurement of 38 inches. I think about five years ago, the clothes size were bigger than they are now. It's ironic considering nowadays, the percentage of obesity among children is much higher. In my case, the physical state I was in is not that bad. I mean, I was not overly obese. But, my self-esteem was really low due to my affected body image. I was lucky I didn't reach the 100kg mark. I shudder to think how it would have been if my weight was over that mark. Finding clothes that suits me can be described as looking for a needle in a haystack. I know the description is a bit much but yeah, that's because I was choosy, I still am when it comes to clothes. I could only wear dark colours then. Black and dark blue were my favourite colours. I was holding to the mantra that dark colours will look slimming. The kind of clothes I would wear was long or short sleeves shirts with khaki pants, also in dark colours. I could never in a million years wear jeans because I thought it would accentuate my chunky thighs and my big bum. It always frustrates me when it's time for me to go clothes-shopping. I know I will never find suitable clothes in a normal shop as they were several sizes too small. The only shops that have my size are Reject Shop and Factory Outlet Store (F.O.S). These two shops have served me well. Almost all of my "fat clothes" are bought there. Because of that, I was envious of people who can wear whatever clothes they want and look good in them. Branded clothes were something I could never imagined wearing. Particularly for the reason, they are not made for and do not cater to people of a bigger physique. I'm being politically correct here.

What I'm trying to say here is when you're overweight, you feel left out not only in the physical sense but spiritually and mentally as well. It becomes harder for you to socialize because most people choose to see your outer-self. They would never take the time to get know you personally. I've come accross overweight people and managed to get to know some of them whose self-confidence are as big as themselves. They are not the kind of people who would let their size become a hindrance for them to enjoy their lives. However, I was not able to do that. I also had my fair share of being called bad names, not to mention being the target of fat jokes. Then, one day, I told myself I've had enough and thus began my quest to lose weight. My biggest motivation to lose the extra weight was that someday I want to fit into those cool and trendy clothes. It's not a strong enough reason, but that's exactly what kept me going. You know how people would say losing weight is easier than keeping it off ??! It's f***ing true. What drives me these days is to be healthy AND to look good (I won't deny it) and I'm doing that by making healthy lifestyle changes to prevent me from gaining back all those weight I lost. Now, I'm happy to say I can get myself into those clothes. Although, I'm still not satisfied with how my body looks. Who's satisfied, anyway, right ??! With that said, I'm glad I was able to get where I am now. Personally, my self-esteem is getting better, I'm trying to be more outgoing and socially active, no more hassle when clothes-shopping, I could try any style of clothes I want and figure out what suit my slimmer body best and I can do all that in style.

Layering your clothes is SO in now. I think it looks hot. I don't think my still-chunky thighs can fit into those skinny jeans. Damn ! The jackets are cool too but it wouldn't be appropriate considering our tropical weather. Plus (a BIG plus), the guy's cute. ;p
Courtesy of Manchic.
Now, if I can just find those mean people who used to tease me back when I was overweight. *flipping the address book*

Eat your hearts out, suckers !!! LOL !