Friends and Boyfriends!

I'm green with envy with how the Westerners came up with this "sexual experimentation" shit. I mean, it is so easy for them to attribute their philandering ways to this excuse. Having mindless and exhilirating sex regardless of sexuality. Gay, straight or bisexual, I'm sure everyone (not those from around here, of course. But, maybe some of them!) has probably used this excuse before to determine if they are truly what they say they are. If not, they would likely be sex-crazed bastards. Hehe! Me, I know I am attracted to guys but I just don't have the guts to go out and snag me one. I remembered watching a movie (forgot the title) where there's this one guy who talks to a friend (who, by the way, is almost always a female) about being sexually confused. So, his female friend suggested that he might be in a "sexual experimentation" phase. Or is it, he said he IS in a "sexual experimentation" phase??! I've forgotten this minor detail. Then, the guy went about and tried having sex with a guy and a girl. Finally, he determined that he is, in fact, gay. It seemed like it is considered cool abroad. I mean, every teenagers went through a phase of self discovery, right?! If only, the idea of a "sexual experimentation" can be tolerated in this part of the world. Though, religion-wise, it is a sin to have pre-marital sex, let alone man-to-man sex!! So, I wouldn't want to go further into that as I'm inadequate to argue more from that perspective. Having all sort of feelings towards the same sex, innocent or otherwise, is hard enough. To be honest, I've had my fair share of not-so-good sexperiences. However, those are hardly telling at all.

You wouldn't know how easily enamored I am when I see cute guys. Though, my definition of cute maybe different than yours. My kind of cute guys are everywhere. I feel like a kid in a candy store, alas, I don't have the option to pick one for myself. ;p When I go to major shopping malls around KL, my eyes would go crazy. Darting around, spotting cute guys in various shapes and forms. The fact of the matter is, it's so easy for me to have a crush on someone. I seem to have an affection to the kind of men who is a guy's guy. He, who might be unaware of how good looking he is. (By the way, vanity is one of my virtue. I think I'm cute. LOL!) Ironically, he, who takes great care of his mind, body and soul. A person who is well-learned and has many life experiences. I don't care how cliched that sounds but that's the way I like my guys. I'm inexperienced, I need that extra guidance. ;p

He is tall (not necessarily, though), fair or tan, has clear complexion (I don't at the moment, but what the heck! It is getting better, though), has facial or no facial hair, athletic build not those muscle-mary kind (I'm open to any type of physical shape as long as it's appropriate), has a certain boyish, rugged charm and has a nice smile. You might notice most of the physical aspect focuses on the face. Yup, I'm a "face-guy" if there is such a thing. These are among the attributes that would usually get my admiring glance . And, when I spotted this kind of guys among the crowd, you know, I would give him a second look. This may make me sound like I am superficial, however, you cannot deny in this day and age, first impression counts. After that, it all boils down to chemistry. And, it is this part I'm having trouble with. The process of getting to know a guy is just so nerve-wrecking for me. Me, making the first move??! Don't count on it. I bet my own ass I would make a fool out of myself. I'm still young and I definitely don't want to rush into things. By blogging, I intend to get to know more gay friends. That is, first and foremost, my main intention. I have made some and I thanked them for sharing with me their thoughts and opinions here. If a friendship can evolve to something more substantial, it would be great. If not, it wouldn't bother me at all. Care to make the first move on me?? :D