Is There a Best Way??!

Love and commitment. Two words that are mutually exclusive, don't you think so? Unless, you are in an open relationship. Like Brian and Justin in Queer As Folk. If....ehem...my boyfriend wants to have an open relationship where he's free to shag other guys, I think I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with the idea. Though, it is because I'd like to think we, asians are more perceptible to the idea of a monogomous relatonship. It would, however, be different if I were to have a girlfriend. Then, I would be expected to be a one-woman man. Errm, I would like to think that I am. I'm getting ahead of myself here since I have not yet decided on whether I want to pursue a gay relationship or a straight one. But, what the heck! It doen't hurt to give these matter some thoughts, right?!! ;p

The other day, my friend, Z, asked me why N, would not accept him as a boyfriend. He asked me to provide some insight on the reason why, since N is one of my close female friends. He argued that I should know the reason since I'm close to her. Well, I can't rebut that. Besides, she treats me like a brother and thinks I'm cute when I was fat. LOL! Now, she thinks I'm not cute anymore since I lost the chubby cheeks which are now replaced with a moderately defined jawline. Anyway, after much deliberation, there's only one reason I can think of saying without hurting his feelings. That is, Z, is not the type of guy N likes as a boyfriend and that the traits N is looking for in a boyfriend was absence in Z. Wouldn't you give the same reason??! Hehe! I said it in the nicest possible way. He seemed affected at first but quickly recovered his composure. I left it at that. I felt really bad. N and I had lunch last week, when I asked her directly why she won't consider Z as boyfriend material. It looks like, the reason I gave to Z was not far off. She reasoned that she could only think of Z as a friend because that was their how their friendship began. She totally diminished the notion that a friendship can evolve into something more.

Seriously, to me, there are basically two ways of getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. First, if you're interested in a guy/girl, you would go out of your way in trying to get to know him/her such as name, likes/dislikes and etc. Of course, you would have to tell him/her, you want to make him/her your boyfriend/girlfriend. That is established in the very beginning. So, there are no mixed message. Secondly, the courting is done through friendship. It may not begin that way and you may be oblivious at first. You may not have the intention of making him/her your boyfriend/girlfriend. But, along the way, things can change and feelings developed. Then, the question will come to whether the friendship can survive if the relationship does not work. Whew! Get what I mean?! I'm wondering, is there such a thing as which one is the best way?? Or, I'm simply too naive?

Monotony

Gosh, a full two weeks without a post!! For some reason, I was totally uninspired. As much I want to write about what happening daily in my life, I can't. Nothing ever really happened. My everyday routine is very mundane and boring. Everyday is the same old monotonous routine. Basically, my day starts with taking a tall glass of water when I wake up (I heard it's a good way to cleanse your body's internal functions and give it a jolt to get ready for a new day), take a shower, eat breakfast, go to classes, have lunch with friends, go to classes again, go home, watch TV (which takes more of my time than I can readily admit. ;p), have dinner, do some school work and finally, sleep. So not worth writing about it. I don't think you want to hear the same things being said over and over again. I guess, that IS my challenge. To break the repetitive motions I went through daily. I really need to be spontaneous.

"I like to remain hidden in the bushes, while I gaze at you with my smouldering look"
Courtesy of Cisoto

Somehow, I wonder whether it's me? Do I let myself fall into this neverending cycle? Why wouldn't I change? Am I afraid of trying something new? In a way, I think the answer is a big resounding YES. When you trying to figure out who you are, you have not reached the point of being comfortable with yourself. As a result, you ended up being cautious with everyone and deliberately choosing the words that come out of your mouth for fear of letting everyone know who you truly are. Damn, I'm self-analyzing myself! No, wonder people hate it when you do it to them, huh?! :D

Oscar Time !!

I planned to catch the live telecast of the 78th Annual Academy Awards on NTV7 yesterday morning but because I slept late the night before, I MISSED it. As a somewhat movie fanatic, I tried not to let myself get into situations where who had won will be revealed to me. So, I avoid talking about the award show to anyone, for the reason that some friends would totally like to ruin the surprise for me. Those bastards. ;p However, none of my friends talked or even gave a mention about the Academy Awards. I got the feeling my friends were clueless and not aware about the BIGGEST AWARD SHOW OF THE YEAR being aired live on local TV!!!!! I have got to find myself some new friends. And, to think they would gossip about the Academy Awards now seemed like it's never going to happen. Honestly though, I just couldn't wait to know who had won, I went and look at the result on the Internet. What a way of not wanting to ruin the surprise, huh?!!!!

So, there I was watching the repeat of the Oscars on NTV7. God, NTV7 has really, really, really butchered the show with their messy editing. It was like watching everything in a fast forward motion. I know they probably want to reduce the airtime. But, the way they had done it really screwed my viewing of the show. They even cut out the performances of the nominated songs. I didn't even get to see my Jake (That's Jake Gyllenhaal to you! Hehe!) presents an award. Everything related to Brokeback Mountain were also cut out. Luckily , I managed to get hold of the minute-by-minute happenings on MSN. Oh, you can check the full list of winners on the same website too.

Crash caused the biggest upset when it won the Best Picture award. I was rooting for Brokeback Mountain to win. *sigh* I was disappointed. I guess, I have to watch Crash to check for myself if it is really as good as they say. Ang Lee became the very first Asian to win the coveted Best Director award. That's something for sure. For an asian to win a very significant award in Hollywood is fantastic.

Fashion wise, everyone looked amazing. NTV7 did not air the part where celebrities, in their designer threads, walking on the red carpet during the repeat of the show. Damn!

"Pray to god, this dress has never been worn by other bitches!"
Awww, aren't they cute?!!!
My Jakey ;p Courtesy of MSN